Empty As A Shell

I have both nothing to say, and a lot to say, so I’ve chosen to remain silent for the past few weeks. You can never get into trouble by keeping your mouth shut.

I sit here tonight, coughing my brains out, questioning how I somehow got sick in twenty-four hours when I’ve obsessively taken precautions against illness. I’m loaded up on Benadryl, in case it’s “just my allergies”, which I love hearing every time I see a doctor and ask if I have an ear or sinus infection (except for earlier this year when I, indeed, had both). I’m trying to soothe the sore throat that I swear, I did not have a few hours ago. I swear by Ricola herb cough drops.

If you’ve been reading my work for a year or two, you know I hate getting sick. I especially hate knowing it will happen right before my special day; the one day I don’t have to share with anyone else, unless I want to. Every damn year, like clockwork. It doesn’t exactly excite me. 😦

After last year’s debacle, I don’t want to do a whole lot this year, and frankly, no one is willing to tag along. Yes, I still want to feel special, I still want to enjoy something, but I don’t want anyone making a ridiculous or offensive comment about what I enjoy, or saying something hurtful because they think they’re owed something. That attitude and behavior doesn’t fly well with me.

Someone messaged me earlier to ask if I want anything special for my birthday. I was polite, mainly because this person accused me of something I find heinous over the summer, and then I talked with my brother about it. He gives the best advice. A lot of people would be dead if it weren’t for my brother talking me down at the height of my anger. I love how he said “Don’t hold it against her for the rest of her life (Apparently he has forgotten how legendary the “female grudge” can be in my family.). Just take note that she rolls like that and remember.”

As much as I try to accept everyone as they are, I struggle with people who say shitty things and think it’s no big deal. I hate having to rein in my temper when I genuinely want to haul off on someone. It’s a boundary thing, really. Also, a person clearly doesn’t know me very well if they are asking me, on the night before my birthday, if there’s something special I’d like. Yeah, my sanity, but bourbon will do (I’m being a smart ass. My actual response was far more polite than I would like to be.).

I want things that help me create. It could be a set of artist’s markers and some very cool coloring books, or it could be a new eye shadow palette and some brushes. It could be paint and things to be painted, etc. Writing isn’t my only creative outlet. I appreciate when people honor that, as opposed to criticizing it. If someone is talented and I know they need things to occupy their mind during sleepless nights or bad days, then I am absolutely going to do something to encourage their creativity.

For a while now, I’ve been painting shells for the garden. Not because I have to, but because for 20-30 minutes here and there, it gives me something creative to focus on. It takes me away from my writing and gives me a different type of canvas to work with.

Shells with texture absorb a lot of paint to truly be “painted”, but it’s worth it when you see your crazy designs in the end. Every single design has been mostly intentional. I have about eight to finish, and even though they’ll likely come inside for winter, they are glazed to withstand the elements. After all, most of these shells once housed ocean creatures, and they survived the rough waters. Rain and snow are nothing compared to the deep, blue sea.

So as I sit here on the eve of my birthday, I encourage you to create. But most importantly, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s worth it.

copyright © 2017 Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Saying Goodbye

I’ve never been happier to say goodbye to a month. 😦 The month I most look forward to every year, October, has been bitter, painful, and full of things I do not want to take into the coming month, or any month in the future, for that matter. I feel like a snake, preparing to shed its skin. I NEVER want to feel the things I have had to feel this month.

I want to persevere in November. I want to pretend the birthday from hell never happened, despite the daily reminders of how demeaning and insulting it was. An epic slap in my face from pretty much every side you can think of (I refuse to celebrate from here on in, unless it’s by myself. People SUCK.). I want to remember who my real friends are. I want to be constantly reminded who my real family is, as opposed to those who simply get the label via birth.

Ultimately, I want to survive this month. I want to successfully achieve the goals on my list, one of which feels absolutely impossible. The last time I felt that way, I nailed it and was able to breathe again. All I want to do is achieve the impossible and breathe. I need to make it to 2017 in one piece.

I also apologize for all delays, as I burned out my laptop battery earlier this month and, to add insult to injury, fried the adapter. Say a little prayer for my laptop, ’cause I’m praying HARD for it.

Survival and deep breaths. Seems simple, but it’s not.

copyright © 2016 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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It’s true.

P.S. And despite all threats, I did not give Cat away to a nice family tonight. She’s been taking care of her poor, sick Mommy when she’s not aggressively attacking her sister. Kitten is right by my side, as always. 🙂 I shall spend tomorrow squeezing them silly!

 

New Moon In Scorpio: 10.30.2016

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Tonight is a New Moon in the sign of Scorpio. It is time to shed our old skin, release what is dying, and let go of what is not working for us.

Scorpio is about death and rebirth. This is a cycle of completions and new beginnings. We are being called upon to trust our deepest instincts and follow where they are taking us.

This New Moon is all about change. Just like a scorpion shedding its skin, we will feel the need to get rid of any negative attachments holding us down and stopping us from moving forward. This moon is about sweeping your life clean of clutter. Our belief systems can crumble. Routines and relationships may breakdown. Structures that you have built up are challenged. Things that you may have thought were reliable and dependable can come to an end. In turn, new doors open and new chapters begin, ushering in a new phase of your life.

Create the space for positive energy to enter. What is not working this New Moon will be highlighted. You will see new pathways and options opening. You can become who you truly want to be, rather than who you think you are supposed to be; this is the true meaning of transformation. Don’t be afraid to look deep into yourself and ask serious questions, explore both your dark and light side. As we embrace our own darkness, we become whole. We are all made of dark and light. The trick is not to let one take over the other, to embrace them both equally, as both are important. Without darkness there is no light, without light there is no darkness. We acknowledge the truth of who we are, which will help us see the truth of others.

Scorpio’s strength is that it isn’t afraid of the dark and so when the Moon is in Scorpio, it is a perfect time to look at our shadows and see what we’ve been in fear of, what we have been suppressing and repressing, and then dealing with it. When we face our inner demons and fears they aren’t as scary as we once thought they were. Scorpio hones in on seeing the truth and if we can be truthful with ourselves, we will have a great opportunity to complete some aspect of our lives and begin a new phase.

Let us use these rare insights the Scorpio New Moon will bring to fuel our understanding of ourselves and the world around us, to allow us to see the big picture of what is occurring in our lives, so that we can easily navigate the changing tides. Scorpio holds the power of the water element, this will have our emotions on high alert. Let your raw emotions come to the surface, this will allow you to heal both mentally and physically.

Things are shifting now. Let’s move in a new and positive direction. The future is knocking at your door and is ready to take you on a new and exciting journey, if you let it.

The New Moon in Scorpio is sure to leave its extreme emotional mark upon us. It almost dares each of us to go into the unknown and expose new parts of the self which are waiting in the wings to be discovered. Let the waters of Scorpio wash over you, cleanse, and heal you. Get to know yourself again and figure out what you really want.

Have a blessed New Moon, and may the Goddess watch over you.

Writing credit goes to Various

Photo credit goes to Wicca Teachings

Developmental Editing by Lisa Marino 

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Fall In New England

sam_1332Fall is coming in brisk and cold here in New England. My phone says it is currently 36 degrees with a wind chill of 27. I can feel nothing but cold from my neck into my toes. In a few days, it’ll warm up again. While typical, it’s also a way too brisk for my liking.

Due to a severe drought, many of the trees are either still green or have absolutely no leaves whatsoever. Saturday nights’ heavy wind really swept through and took the colorful leaves with it. I was lucky enough to capture a few that turned beautiful shades of Fall; my favorite time of year.

Other than being cold and waking up sick this morning, not much is going on. I am trying to psych myself up for the day and a long walk, that will hopefully not freeze me to death/kill me, but will allow me to clear my mind and prepare for the year ahead.

Kitten is sleeping to my left, counting down the seconds until it’s time for breakfast. She tried getting me to feed her an hour ago. I don’t know whether to be concerned or mortified by her voracious appetite. Cat, on the other hand, has become Madame Finicky. There is a LOT of cattitude in this house. I keep telling them I will give them out with the Halloween candy. I’m terrible, I know. 😉

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The maple is the only one that’s turned so far. Unfortunately, a day later 3/4’s of the leaves were gone. 😦

I’ve found the colors awe-inspiring, as I draw creative inspiration from color on a whole. There have been gorgeous blue skies and there have also been plenty of grey, cloudy, heavily rainy days. It’s always better to get rain than it is to get snow.

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Japanese Maple across the street. Without the sunlight, the leaves are dark purple. This is one of my favorite trees because the leaves are stunning. It was my favorite tree back in Pennsylvania, too. 

There are things going on, of course, but nothing I wish to speak about now, mainly to protect the privacy of others. I am heavily researching some topics I’d like to discuss, some of which may trigger people (I promise to post warnings in case some people want to take a pass), but I think this is a great place for open, honest discussions.

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I wasn’t kidding about the wind.

For the first time on my birthday, at least in this particular moment, I feel reborn instead of miserable. Perhaps this is a sign of good things to come. I’ll take the positive signs where they come.

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Fresh chocolate mint. No, I am NOT kidding. I often walk past it and chew on the leaves. It smells so good and tastes amazing.

I hope you all have an amazing Wednesday. I’m certainly gonna try, especially since the reverse aging has kicked in. 😉

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I’m not sure what type of tree this is, but it has the lightest shades of orange & peach in the entire neighborhood.

copyright © 2016 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Full SuperMoon In Aries

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Tonight’s Full Moon will be a SuperMoon. The SuperMoon not only affects nature, such as the tides and wildlife, it also affects us; our emotions will be heightened, our senses will be sharper, things that were hidden or in the shadows can now be seen.

The October Full Moon is known as The Blood Moon because this was the time of the harvest of flesh, when farmers would slaughter their cattle and preserve the meat to last through winter. It is also known as The Hunters Moon because of the brightness of tonight’s Moon; it was the perfect time for hunting both day and night and gathering food.

A SuperMoon amplifies the effects of a normal Moon, we will be feeling ultra sensitive and emotional at this time. We may find ourselves feeling strong emotions we don’t even understand. Happy and laughing one minute, teary and sad the next. Don’t worry, this will pass, but this is the effect of the SuperMoon. We may experience wild and vivid dreams, or dreams of the future.

If you have been feeling stuck in a situation or that everything has been standing still lately, get ready, because this Full Moon will be bringing with it a wind of change. Tonight’s Full Moon is in the fiery sign of Aries. This is a time of great change. The universe is giving us so many gifts and chances; don’t be afraid to take them and to dream of bigger and better things, ask for more, do more, be more. Look at what may be holding you back and get rid of it. The Aries Full Moon is about starting fresh; getting rid of the old and bringing in the new.

So much of what has been suppressed is coming to light now and shining so brightly that we cannot ignore it any longer. This Full Moon is about truth and seeing what is really there; not what we want to see. In life we can often see illusions about ourselves, illusions about others, and illusions about our world. All of these will start crumbling away so we can rebuild on what is real and true.

The Aries Full Moon is a time of healing and cleansing, of getting rid of our negative junk and moving ourselves into a new and positive direction. Look closely at all the good things in your life and look at how to improve the bad things. It’s time to take a deep look within ourselves and become more aware of what makes us feel comfortable and secure. With this potent Aries energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives. It’s time to make some solid, yet realistic, plans for the future.

Tonight’s Full Moon will be hot and passionate as we can feel the fire of the Aries element, yet we will feel a tranquil quality that can bring a new wave of calm and peace with it, too. The gentle dusting of energy bought by this Full Moon will allow us all to restore and recharge our batteries and perhaps even feel more comfortable with our situation. We will see with clarity what we need to do to heal and grow. Let the fire of Aries wash over you, cleansing and healing you. Now is also the time to get in touch with your passions & desires and work on making them a reality.

Have a blessed Full Moon & may the Goddess watch over you.

Written credit goes to Wicca Teachings

Edited by Lisa Marino