No one asks me at all. They just assume I’m perfectly healthy because they have no idea what is going on internally. After a while, it’s tiresome to hear “You look great!”
This quote is basically my new norm. I had to make a serious decision this year regarding my health, and ultimately I had to choose to make my health my first priority. There was no one to consult with on that. No one was going to prioritize it if I didn’t do it myself; a basic fact.
Here I am at the end of November, still focused solely on my health, and a list of goals I’d like to achieve sooner rather than later. I am determined, but I’m also exhausted, sleep-deprived, in serious pain, and trying to be strong through all of it. I am currently on a steroid taper for a skull-flaming migraine. I barely know my own name after the past 48 hours, so bear with me.
I see my stats and I know I am writing less here. Well, I’m posting less, but please know I am still writing. I’ve got multiple posts in the pipeline (one needs fine-tuning before it goes live). My time has predominantly been spent going to and from the hospital, to testing, to doctor’s appointments, and I’ve had two in-office procedures done this year where my migraines are concerned. The next one is in ten days, except now I know some of what to expect from it. No, I am not taking a CGRP drug and for the foreseeable future, it’s not on the table as something I would personally consider, nor has my doctor mentioned it as something she’d be willing to prescribe.
I’m grateful for the handful or so of good people and their AMAZING office staff, who have been incredible to me this year. From May to present, I have been deeply blessed with the people who’ve been taking care of me, who’ve listened to me, those who are my treating physicians and are proactive about it. We live in a current medical climate where doctors often behave in such a superior manner that you contemplate kicking them, just to see if they’re human. I REALLY lucked out with two of my physicians. I have a lot of respect for down-to-earth doctors who treat me like a peer and/or treat me with the respect I deserve as the sufferer. Not everyone can master this, but two of them have, and it makes me feel like there’s a real team behind me for certain things. When your doctors actually encourage communication and they always make sure their staff is being good to you as well, it’s a nice feeling.
For all of the medical issues I endure, writing has been a constant in my life at all times. I don’t stop thinking, speaking, believing, or writing the truth; not ever. I can step into fictitious worlds I’ve developed when I want to, but for the most part, I’m going to live in the truth and keep that steady.
I will be featuring more medical pieces going forward, but I will still share other views, as well. I’m not changing as a person (I’m growing. There’s a difference.), but I am thinking more about the overall message I want my readers to receive.
In short, I am wishing you all a fabulous, healthy, happy, safe holiday season. I’ll be back with some good talking points ASAP.
I think it’s safe to say no on this one. There’s no time limit. It can remain a shock to the system for quite some time.
I tried really hard to have a good day today, but towards the end I couldn’t walk properly and I was struggling with my vision and breathing. I couldn’t think. I came home and looked in the mirror for some visible sign that I was well and truly “done for”, but came away dejected because I see what everyone else sees; someone who visibly looks healthy. It’s really frustrating. 😦
She’s right. A large majority of people would never understand this, but I’m in the percentage who understands, without further explanation.