Dust To Dust

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Where The Hell Does The Year Go?

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Where The Hell Does The Year Go?

Every year I’m semi-amazed I’ve survived and gotten this far: Both in life and in the day-to-day struggle. I have a lot to be grateful for.

I’ve had an incredibly rough two years. The years before that were not perfect, some were horrific in their lack of kindness, many had their battles, but this past year has humbled me in ways I never thought possible. It is very easy to lose sight of what we have in life, basic things we should all have. It’s a little too easy to take those basics for granted, until they’re taken away for long periods of time.

I read so many things where people are going through difficult shit. I choose not to advertise my problems because I do have some semblance of privacy and dignity. I also don’t feel that’s what people come here for. I know I can bitch and be myself, but do I really want to dwell on that crap? No. I want things to get better, I want to be positive, and I want to move forward. By whining, you drown in your own crap. On top of being a disgusting visual, it’s also very negative and I don’t want that, for myself or for anyone else.

I am eternally grateful for being blessed with the ability to project my voice through the written and spoken word. As I watch so many people struggle with something that comes so easy to me, I can’t help but see the differences between art and mere words. I openly admit it leaves me frustrated with a lot of people at times.

The very small group of people that matter in my life: THANK YOU. You all know who you are. I am blessed with people who talk me down from my various ledges, entertain my insanity, listen to me, commiserate with me, support me, and are loyal with kind, caring, generous hearts. I respect and appreciate the lack of drama. I respect and appreciate your love, friendship, humor, and the things so many of you go out of your way to do to make me laugh, smile, and/or cheer me up. The thoughtfulness knows no boundaries. It is amazing to know that there are people who have my back, as opposed to those who would prefer to stab me in it. Please know how appreciated you all are. I have an outrageous amount of love in my heart for all of you.

It gives me an endless amount of professional pleasure and pride to be able to bring you “Poison In Lethal Doses”. Tomorrow marks 20 years of both my experience as an editor and the amount of time I have spent writing “Poison” pieces. It feels like it all just started yesterday. I’ve grown so much as a writer that I know time has passed, yet it feels surreal to me. What I used to do and what I do today are two very different beasts. The evolution is amazing for me to see.

2015 will challenge me in my personal and professional lives. I pray it is not quite as challenging for all of you because I would not wish aspects of my life on anyone, but I do hope it challenges you in positive ways that brings an abundance of happiness into your lives.

Ultimately, my vow is to be here and be present for all of you, and for myself. I vow to finish the unfinished and move forward with things that are of the utmost importance. On a smaller note, I am going to attempt to be 98% caffeine free by February. I would prefer to use it just when I have a migraine, as opposed to using it as a stress crutch.

Big things, little things, good things, bad things. No matter what, let us be grateful for it all and what it teaches us. Life is short. It’s not always easy, and it’s a very lonely place without someone in life to turn to that understands. Tonight, no matter what it is you’re doing or believe in, stop and say a little prayer for everyone that matters to you in life. It’s not about religion or belief systems, it’s about humanity. Once you lose sight of that, it’s all downhill, so I think it’s important to remain in touch with what makes you a human-being. While not the most friendly person on the planet, I still have compassion and empathy for others. I still make an effort. I am always present for those I care about, no excuses. Practice a random act of kindness, you’ll see how good it makes you feel as well, thus serving a dual purpose. That which you send out into the world comes back to you threefold. Make it count.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and safe New Year!

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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A Mood

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Every once in a while, or possibly more often, you get into a mood. It’s usually because you don’t feel well, haven’t been able to get quality sleep, or because there’s a shit-ton of crap going on in your life and you’ve had enough. For me, it is D) All of the above. It’s not even 7:00 a.m. and I’m in “a MOOD”.

In the midst of “the mood” moving in, I get double-booked for proofreading jobs. They both asked for the exact same delivery date to boot, which makes me feel like a machine and less like a person. I am 25 pages in on the first one, which is pretty good considering I was in bed at 6:00 PM last night due to a migraine. The second one shocked me. I found it late last night well after waking up, making dinner, and watching Major Crimes. I briefly checked my e-mail and the “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” look was on my face when I saw that a second proposal had been accepted, no questions asked.

That’s when I know someone is serious about their work. They don’t play games, they simply give you the job, they fund the job immediately, and that’s it. You get to work. It’s incredibly drama free, but I had to respond to the second client and ask for an additional five days, to make sure they both receive quality work. Two 85,000+ word jobs done at the exact same time means my brain will eventually shut down. However, at the pace I am going, I can do the first one in about 7-10 days, and then turn over to the next one and finish it all within the time frame I have proposed. I don’t want to go back and forth, because it’s way too easy to confuse work in your own head when you’re working on multiple projects. When you’re paying me, you deserve for me to be 100% fair to you and your work. I will find out later today, I suspect, if this is all right or not.

And yet, even with those positive bits, the mood still exists. I suspect being tired, sore, unable to sleep, and feeling an overall sense of blah isn’t exactly helping things along. But you know what? It’s okay. I cannot expect to be a ray of sunshine, nor will I push myself to have an attitude or behavior that isn’t genuine. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay that my plans for this week have suddenly shifted and will now have to be primarily work focused.

It’s okay. Just breathe. This too shall pass. However, if someone tries to triple-book me, I just might lose my shit.

 

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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